Hallo, loser!
If the truth has such a face as I did see lately when its face is ugly and it is your face that is ugly. As we know beauty is only skin deep. Your "palace" has collapsed down already, even before you managed to build a hut. I don`t regret anything I have told about you. You are gigolo, you are playboy, you are afraid of deep involvement with significant other. If I wrote that you are incapable for intimate relationships when I didn`t mean intercourse (every man can do it almost with every woman) but I meant (spiritual) openness to new experience. But you prefere to be buried alive. Good luck for that!
I was your admirer still last summer but you have exposed so many dark sides of you that I do not want anything to do with you any more. I`m going to be reconciled to my lot. Fortunately you are not the only man in the Earth.
Even if you thought to make some silly joke when we must be very different. I don`t understand your "humour".
I have just still one unfeminine characteristic and this is that when I have decided to broke free from sth when I shall do that and without backward glance.
Yours ex-fan.
NB! And you have no need of writtting these abusive letters any more.
I`m just thinking that communicating in this way with a person you have never seen before in your life is not right thing to do. As we have seen it has caused much suffering, at least for me, and I even don`t know if this has been in any way justified. I mean if I could have seen you in person, maybe I did not like you very much, who knows. Or I would have seen what your feelings really were. Imagination plays important part. So you can make great mess and at the same time you can`t straighten things up, as you don`t know what other people reactions really are. And you are so far. Indeed, we have came full circle. Something is wrong. And something is wrong with me. These things should not devastate me in such way. And the beginning was wrong. Even if I would came to London I could not to inform you that I´m there because I have only email address of this little Portuguese girl. Oe, this is real confusion. Yes, and why I am thinking that you may want to meet me altogether. Anyhow, all my mental activity is only good (or not good) guesswork.
I think that our relation should to be to the world of reality, not
to the world of virtual reality. It is all I can say at present. And life should not be a permanent fight and struggle.
I am feeling in certain way as Sisyphys who was condemned by Gods
to ceaselessly rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, whence the stone would fall back of its own weight. Awful!!
At least, I`ll take a rest. Ülle
One thing more. Please, look back and see in the end that things were spoilt when you dragged this old woman into the picture. (Do you not guess that I may be ashamed of your behaviour, to read all these articles in whitch everywhere is emphasized that - oi, how happy you are, in your age you have a lover just 19 years yours junior, it makes me sick, really, sorry). And they can`t change for better as long as your thoughts are dwelling upon her pictures. Read feng shui if you don`t appreciate opinion of mine. But please, meanwhile (as long as you are committed to her) let me alone and get out of my computer. Virtual reality or not but this exposes your attitude. While bearing a grudge against each other anything good could happen for us. Good things happen only to good people.
I`m bored stiff with this theme.
Ülle
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diário :: Maluca