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Journal :: March 2005 << previous || archive || next >>

01.03.2005 (tue) I woke up around 5 AM thinking about work and couldn't sleep for the next two hours, so I spent the day a bit tired. While I was awake I kept looking at the time and outside temperature projected on the ceiling. I kept going down! At 6 AM or something it went down to 1.6 degrees outside. That's pretty cold for this corner of the world. I had a meeting at 3 PM which coincided with tons of calls about 'urgent' stuff. Typical - you leave for an hour and that's exactly when everyone has urgent stuff to do. When I got back around 4 I made the calls I had to make and fixed the problem, which was simple enough, thankfully. Then I got to work and kept at it until 7 PM. I had a bit of a problem with lists that IE refused to apply the CSS style to but eventually figured it out. I hate Internet Explorer. Tomorrow work consists once again of quotes, disclaimers and the like that I have to write. It's so incredibly dull but I guess it has to be done. ^ Top

03.03.2005 (thu) I did the second ultrasound today. It was a lot more complex because they have all this different stuff they have to measure but it seems everything is going well and we got the whole thing on tape :) I was amazed to see how the legs have developed and it was fun to see you could count the fingers and everything. The heartbeat was 170 bpm. Next time we'll try and see if it's possible to find out if it's a boy or a girl. It would help with the name choosing. Then I came home to work. ^ Top

04.03.2005 (fri) Work, work work. Good thing it's friday cause I don't think I could take another day like today. Not right now. I'm at the end of the first trimester so things are slowly getting back to normal - the nausea and tiredness are slowly going away - but I still can't take as much as I used to. And I'm sure the stress isn't good for the baby either. ^ Top

05.03.2005 (sat) We took a long walk today and hubby took a few pictures of the places where the subway is going to pass through, just to keep a record of what these places looked like before. The kind of thing that'll be really funny to look at in 20 years time :) When we got home I was really tired but eventually we went out again. I tried buying Tori's new album at the Fnac store but they didn't have it. They gave me some excuse about the record company not distributing it or something. But I didn't buy it cause I knew people who had already seen it on sale, so I checked at the supermarket and they had it - the version with the DVD and everything. Then we did some more shopping, bought a new ceiling lamp for our living room, a small support for the second TV and developed the pictures. I was completely dead by the time we got home but still had the energy to assemble the TV stand before collapsing on the sofa for the rest of the evening. ^ Top

06.03.2005 (sun) Because of how tiring yesterday was, today I stayed home. I did some house chores but mainly watched Miss Marple on TV and took it easy. At night we went out to dinner with my brother and his girlfriend and then they came over for a bit. Hubby missed a football game because of dinner but didn't seem too upset about it :) ^ Top

07.03.2005 (mon) - 13 weeks I picked up my blood test results this afternoon and had some work to do but also took some time to rest during the afternoon because I knew I had stuff to do after 6 PM. Work lasted until 9 or 10 - can't remember exactly. It's always more tiring to work after hours because even if I did try resting before I can't help being tired and moody. Unfortunately I know it's nothing compared to what's coming tomorrow. ^ Top

08.03.2005 (tue) I worked from 9 AM to 9.30 PM today. By 8.30 I was ready to kill somebody, especially because I was trying to put changes online and check that all the links were working properly and new changes kept coming in. Hubby was a great help cause he wrote a document I didn't have time to work on so I'm indebted to him :) Eventually I gave up, took a long bath and read a bit. The bath was a good choice for two reasons - it helped me relax a bit and warmed me up. I was literally shaking because of how cold I was. ^ Top

09.03.2005 (wed) This has been the weirdest week. I've been overworked and pissed off and tired and haven't had time for anything. I've been killing myself working after hours and everything (up to 12 hours a day) for a client who now complains I'm charging him too much. I really think this is it. I'm going to get rid of these guys. I'm pregnant and I should be taking it easy not getting so stressed I can't even sleep properly. When I took over the company the idea was to take it easy, do the work for the clients we already had and maybe get a couple more, just to pay the bills. It has gotten to a point where it's a lot more than that - it's constant stress, daily requests for urgent work, being shouted at for no reason, and, frankly, not enough money. So I think it's time to stop being scared and take it down a notch. I really don't need this. And if I get rid of the high stress clients maybe I can keep this going a bit longer because right now I just want to quit. I sometimes feel I'd rather starve than keep doing this. I know in the end that's not true, but that gives me a good indication of just how unhappy I am with my job at the moment. It's gotten to the point that if certain clients even hint at going to the competition I will fetch their hat, shake their hand and point the way. The good thing is that because of all the mess I didn't have to wait for this client today so I could catch up on other work that arrived yesterday. And there's more tomorrow... ^ Top

11.03.2005 (fri) To top a hellish week I got some fairly unpleasant news today. Apparently my pre-natal exam shows an augmented risk for having a baby with Downs syndrome so I'll probably need to have an amniocentesis to be sure. Hubby was completely destroyed and my inlaws were also a little in shock I think. As for me, I feel I have to hope for the best. This is merely a statistic result and there's still 162 chances for a healthy baby so I won't panic till I get the actual results. But I can't say I'm particularly happy about it or that it doesn't change anything. For one, I don't think I'll be making any plans for buying baby furniture or whatever until I know what's going on. And it'll take a month before I know anything for sure, not to mention a slight risk of abortion from the procedure. So it's about patience and fingers crossed for the time being. We had a maternity follow up appointment this afternoon so we showed the doctor the results and he gave us the instructions for the next few steps. I have to go to the hospital on monday and do another blood test and then the procedure should be in a week or two when there's enough amniotic fluid for them to take a sample. Then I have to wait another two or three weeks while the cells develop before there's any results. The good thing is that if it all goes well we'll have a lot more information about the baby by doing this, so it's not all bad news. We're going away for the weekend so I guess I'll be trying not to think about it too much. ^ Top

12.03.2005 (sat) We drove to Óbidos today for the weekend. Hubby booked the Tower room for one night so it'll be fun to sleep in a castle for once. We got there around one and asked for directions. Instead of the expected 'that's none of my business' response, we got a very polite and friendly explanation from the lady we asked. It immediately gave me a sense that this is one of those rare places in Portugal that actually takes tourism seriously. We checked in and were shown to the room by an intern. The room was dark and the downstairs had no windows. The staircase was narrow and pretty vertical but in keeping with the period. Upstairs was the actual room, with a dark wood canopy bed and the windows were only those tiny arrow slits. Really nice atmosphere. We were a bit tired but decided to go out for lunch and walk around a bit instead of staying in for the moment. We found a nice little restaurant and had a good lunch, even though the service was a bit slow - the waitress seemed to refuse to look around so it was almost impossible to call her. After lunch we walked down the main street and then walked back through other less populated streets and took lots of pictures. The town is pretty small so we covered most of it in about two hours. But everything is nice and neat, the gardens are generally well kept, it's almost impossible to get lost and it's really easy to fin look out points. The view is mostly just farmland but it's still nice. Around 4 PM we started getting a bit tired so we went back to the hotel to lie down for a bit. We went out again just before sunset for dinner and to see the town at night. We took a couple more streets that we hadn't been on before and climbed to the top pf the wall that surrounds the town. The castle, church and some other buildings were lit up so there was actually a pretty nice view from up there. ^ Top

13.03.2005 (sun) I had to go to the bathroom several times during the night. Talk about a challenge! Going down those steps while not completely awake is an accident waiting to happen. In the morning we had breakfast at the hotel, packed our things, checked out and went for a walk along the castle walls. We went all the way round and took some more pictures. It was perfectly fine until the last bit that was all the way up. It was like punishment but I eventually made it, although I can imagine how my legs will feel tomorrow. We left around 1 PM, stopped at a gas station to buy water and a couple of snacks in case we got hungry and drove home. We arrived at around 2.30h but decided to go get the pictures developed and have lunch out instead of driving straight home. The pictures would have turned out great if it wasn't for the fact that they're too washed out again. We have already fixed the problem with the camera that made it take photos with the wrong light measure setting so now it must be the fault of the person developing the pictures. I have to try and make some copies at a different place to see if there's any difference. It's really frustrating to spend two days taking photos and have them turn out white buildings over white sky. If they're doing this on purpose I'm going to get seriously pissed off. We came home for a bit, watched The Bourne Supremacy and then went over to my brother's flat for his birthday dinner. I still think he's a bit mad to have all those people in there, but it was a friendly crowd and I think it went pretty well. There's always the obligatory accident but this time it didn't involve any injuries - only a couple of wine glasses spilling onto the rug. I think it's funny the way we're fast becoming the 'previous generation'. Suddenly at these parties there's a bunch of kids running around (I believe 4 this time), not to mention pregnant women which, including myself, made 3 this time. It's just weird. I guess we're getting older but I just don't think about it much until I start noticing these little details :) ^ Top

14.03.2005 (mon) - 14 weeks My mom drove me to the hospital this morning to book an appointment before the procedure. I asked the security guard at one of the hospital entrances which was the best way in and he obviously pointed us to the wrong one, so we wandered around the hospital for a bit before getting to the right place. We had to wait an hour before they even looked at the tests I brought and then told us to go to the front desk to book the appointment for next thursday at 10.30h. My mom has thursdays off so she'll be able to take me again. The problem with going to the hospital is parking. People use the hospital parking lot even if they're not going into the hospital so it's almost impossible to get a spot. We got there shortly after 8 PM and it was already full. I can't imagine what it will be like on thursday... The appointment itself is nothing to worry about. They're just going to explain the procedure and the risks and I probably have to sign some consent form. It's the being perforated by a large needle next week that I'm not particularly looking forward to. I know it has to be done but it sounds like a pretty uncomfortable thing. I know I'll be the whole time trying very hard not to move. It's like trying not to think of a cow. When I got home I realised I didn't have the building key - we gave it to my in-laws so they could come and feed the cats during the weekend. So I went over to my parent's flat to get their key but it didn't work either - it must have been the key for the lock that was changed. So I had to ring a neighbour and ask to be let in. I don't really know anybody in the building so it's a bit awkward but they did open the door. I was under house arrest for the rest of the day. I was sleepy and moody but had work to do so I didn't get much rest. I guess the week from hell is turning out to be the fortnight from hell. Just what I needed! ^ Top

15.03.2005 (tue) I did another blood test this morning. It's becoming routine, really. After being punctured I came back home, had some breakfast and got on with solving another sticky situation. It seems the fuss did not end last week and things have trickled down into this one. I just hope it ends soon. I'm completely knackered (a brilliant expression, especially when you feel like I do today) and can't take much more of this. Work was fairly basic today, though, so no more nasty surprises during the day. I found out Jonesy, our cat, has got a daily schedule. I know it sounds odd but he seems to do the same things every day around the same time. Like, for example, around 4.30 PM every day he comes over to sit on my lap. For some reason I started to look at the clock when he does this, mostly cause I'm here working and don't really see him for the rest of the day, and realised it was always at the same time. How do cats keep time? So his day starts with breakfast, following me to the bathroom to have a drink in the bide, nap on the couch, nap in a sunny spot and then at 4.30 coming over to lie down on my lap and chew on my sweater. The weird thing is that I think the other cats also have a regular visit time but I just never took notice. Apparently I'm the heating equipment in the house and they take turns. At night we went shopping and I took the latest film back to have copies made at a couple of different places. The idea is to find out if the film is actually ruined and the camera is measuring the light wrong or if the place that develops the pictures is just messing it up. My vote is on the second option and am hoping one of the two places I tried today will be able to come up with some decent prints so I can switch places. We also tried buying a new cell phone, cause my regular one fell on the floor and doesn't work anymore, but the wait is impossible. We took a number, went to the supermarket, came back and still had to wait. And when it was finally our turn there was a man complaining that Pedro was cutting in or something, and the man working there was apparently smirking, so Pedro got pissed off, threw the ticket at the man's face and left. Therefore we have to buy a phone some other way or change service altogether. Portugal is not very service oriented and has never been. In some stores, because the employees are on commission, they will be a bit more helpful, but it's still not in their character to be so. And in some places the customer is treated like a nuisance that they wish they could just eliminate. Public services are impossible. You wait for 3 hours and then have to talk to some man or woman who resents being there and will probably be rude to you. To get anything done at the local social security office you have to get up early in the morning, go there to get a number, come home till lunch time, go back and still wait for an hour. But, in a way, we got used to it. The thing is, with non-public services, with products that spend millions on advertising to try and get you to buy their products, there should be a bit more respect for people. But there isn't. I have to start complaining. I know it doesn't do anything but at least I'll feel like I've done what I could. ^ Top

16.03.2005 (wed) I finally had a slow day and was able to rest. I still feel tired and sleepy and having a hard time concentrating to I just gave into it. By 5 PM I was feeling alright again so i tried making a few calls I had been delaying but wasn't able to get anyone. So one more thing for tomorrow. I've been watching The Thin Blue Line. It's quite funny although the jokes amount to mostly the same thing throughout all the episodes, but Rowan Atkinson is brilliant in his unique way of delivering the lines. There are some little details in common with Blackadder (hardly surprising) even though the humour here is a bit less cynical. I think I had only seen the first series and maybe one or two episodes from the second, so it was fun having something new to watch for the past couple of days. ^ Top

17.03.2005 (thu) The morning was spent at the hospital waiting for my appointment. It was supposed to be at 10.30h but I had to wait more than 2 hours. Parking was impossible, as predicted, and I had to go in and let my mother try and find a place to park on her own. The nurse that spoke to me first was a bit surprised at the fact that I looked fairly cheerful. I guess people who go there to do this exam are already thinking everything is going wrong but I'm feeling strangely optimistic. I guess if everything does go wrong then I'll have a complete breakdown when I look at the test results, but until then I don't see the point of worrying to death. So I asked a couple of questions, got the medication I have to take on the day, signed a couple of forms and was done. Then I went to the front desk to actually schedule the exam and left. So I'm going back on the 30th for the procedure and then we'll see. I won't be able to move around much for a day or two after and that's going to be dull as hell. I got home at half past one, had a quick lunch, checked my email and then went out again to drop stuff off at the post office and bank. The weather is lovely today - a perfect spring day - but it comes completely out of the blue so I was still wearing my winter coat when I stepped out this morning. I was getting a bit tired of winter but I wish there was a smoother transition. But confusing the humans must be a lot more fun. ^ Top

18.03.2005 (fri) When I went downstairs to get my mail this morning, there was a notice on the wall saying that the apartment next door to ours is going to be auctioned in a month. We have fantasized about buying it for ages because it has been vacant almost since we moved but as far as we knew they were asking way too much money for it, especially considering that all the plumbing has to be replaced along with a few other necessary improvements. So we filed it under 'impossible day dreams' and left it at that. But now it seems we may actually have a chance. In the end someone will probably outbid us and get the place just to sell it for a profit. And on that day I will probably curse them and feel a great urge to paint a pentagram in blood on their door. But until then I'll do what I can to get the place. Since this is my father-in-law's birthday, we went over to their flat at night just to say hi and give him his present. The party is tomorrow. ^ Top

19.03.2005 (sat) Someone called at 8 AM today. I didn't recognise the number but I wrote it down in case I need to annoy someone so I can call them at 3 AM sometime and repay the gesture. This makes me think that for some reason I've been feeling really vengeful lately. Fortunately I don't actually act on it. I just store it for later, when I really need it. But I fear this may be even more dangerous than when I just blow up without thinking. Because I woke up so early (for a saturday) I was sleepy the whole day. I really hate when that happens. I can't rest at night. I keep having strange dreams where I'm doing something repetitive and possibly dangerous or with a time limit. But it never stops until I wake up. Tonight I had to decorate fish tanks. I have no idea why, but the feeling behind it was exactly the same as when I was learning the piano - I had a certain number of exercises to learn and then I had to go to class and show the results to the teacher. Only here it was fish tanks instead of pages of sheet music. I thought about this for a while and came up with the only logical conclusion: this is some twisted way for my body to tell me I have to wake up and go pee. I can think of nothing else that makes any sense. We had lunch at my in-laws' flat and spent most of the afternoon there. I took the pictures from the previous weekend and Pedro's grandparents and aunt saw the baby tape. This was also my grandmother's birthday and I felt a bit guilty about not going there but I can't be two places at once. I called to wish her a happy birthday and she sounded really depressed, which made me feel worse. And my mother told me recently that, as if she didn't have enough to cope with, with my grandfather dying, someone broke into her house the other day while she was in the garden. The man was surprised by the housekeeper who apparently knew him and slapped him silly and kicked him out, but this sort of thing keeps happening. And it's quite evident that it's always someone in the neighbourhood because they know all the family's movements and so on. It's really creepy and reason number one why I would think very carefully before moving to a house instead of a flat. You truly can't trust anyone these days. ^ Top

21.03.2005 (mon) - 15 weeks I went to the bank this morning to discuss a possible loan for the new flat we're thinking of buying. It went pretty well and there's a good chance we can get the money in time. Now I have to find out what kind of documents I need to deliver and all the bureaucratic side of things. Part of me is trying not to think 'what am I getting myself into' because the rest of me is thinking 'I can't believe there's a chance to do this!' It would mean finally having a place big enough so we wouldn't have to move ever again if we didn't want to. ^ Top

22.03.2005 (tue) While waiting for a client to send me material to finish some work I took the time to take care of some pending business like paying taxes and so on. I also did some house work, picked up test results and watched Pride and Prejudice once again. The work never came. Apart from the walk to the clinic, during which I realised that I can no longer walk as fast as I used to I tried exercising a bit at home just to avoid spending the whole day sitting down. I was never a very active person but I was a good walker and I could walk for two hours straight without getting tired. But now to do the same thing I have to walk much slower and avoid steep climbs, especially stairs. I feel 80 years old! I also started writing a new song today. It's been a while since I've done that. I have been too busy and stressed to have enough space in my head to create anything at all. But this week things have been slow and it's coming back again. The main melody came to me in the shower, as is common - it's always when I'm not really trying. I'm just humming or singing something else and something will pop into my head. But when I tried to record it the computer refused to record anything. All the cables were well connected and everything and still nothing happened. I eventually gave up. I just hummed into a hand-held tape recorder and left it at that. ^ Top

23.03.2005 (wed) Rant day. Going to sleep at night used to be my escape from things. Ever since I was a little girl I used to go to bed as soon as possible to escape all the day to day things I didn't want to have to deal with, like my parents fighting, and would make up stories until I fell asleep. I continued to do that throughout all my life until last year. Suddenly reality became too overwhelming and the worries of the day started invading my dreams and I stopped having a place to escape to. I started getting up really early in the morning because being in bed with all the stuff that goes through my mind has become unbearable. I hate it. I hate that I no longer have a space that is just my own where I can pretend nothing bad happens. I hate that I have given away control of my well being to outside forces and that I can't seem to be able to take it back. On days like these I start to understand why some people do drugs - something which has always puzzled me in a way. I've never felt so much out of control has during this last year and I should have learned to deal with it by now. I mean, on a practical level I deal with it - I do what I can to solve things and things get done. But on an emotional level I'm a wreck, constantly fearing the next unforeseen problem to emerge. I don't want to live in fear. I liked it much better when I was abe to live one day at a time and deal with what was right in front of me and forget about the rest. Is it possible to become less wise as you get older? I thought you were supposed to know more, not less. But I spend my days telling myself to take deep breaths even when I don't actually have much to worry about. I'm always waiting for the next wave, so when it finally comes I'm already wound up so tight that it has a much larger impact that it would need to. I sometimes wish i could split in two so one of me would just slap the other me in the face and say 'snap out of it, you stupid bitch!' So I'm having a low self esteem day. One of those days when I look in the mirror and scare myself. Is that really what I look like? How could anyone possible like someone who looks like this? And then I tell this to my husband and he gives me one of those 'oh look, she's going insane again. Just ignore it and maybe she'll go away' looks and somehow that makes it worse. On a normal day I will look at myself and think 'well, with a little make-up we can fix that'. But on days like these I would need a mask or a paper bag to be able to face the outside world. I know it's terribly vain to want to look good but I've always been a very visual person - I went to art school, I learned math by associating numbers with colours, I have a great visual memory to the point where I know I saw a pen in the second drawer of the hallway cupboard but couldn't tell what most people I recognize on the street are called or where I know them from - so what things look like have always been very important to me. I think everyone is attracted to beauty - we surround ourselves with beautiful things and one of the first assessments we make about things or people is about what it looks like. And most women know that they get a different response from people depending on what they look like, what they're wearing and so on. Still, it shouldn't be a paralysing thing. And even though the saying that 'beauty is in the eyes of the beholder' is completely false - there are universal standards and mathematical rules for beauty - the fact that I will look at myself differently from one day to the next does have a direct connection to how I'm feeling at the time, since I always look more or less the same. So I made an effort and got dressed, put my make-up on and was feeling slightly more confident until I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and realised how incredibly huge my ass has become in the last couple of days. Once again my husband is thrilled but I have to go change into some baggy trousers before leaving the house. ^ Top

26.03.2005 (sat) We went for a walk in the park this afternoon. Unfortunately I had to cut it short because I really had to pee - one of the disadvantages of the pregnancy. I spend the rest of the afternoon reading Sandman comics. ^ Top

27.03.2005 (sun) Today we took another little walk, at the beach this time. It was a bit windy but not as much as during winter and I could have stayed longer but the tide was rising and we had to leave or risk getting soaked by a sudden wave. Well, at least it got me out of the house for an hour. ^ Top

28.03.2005 (mon) - 16 weeks The week started on busy mode. The programming for a site I've been working on for a while now is finally online and so I spent the day correcting templates and putting content online through the backend. I was working till about 9 PM but by then I was so tired I had to quit. Earlier in the afternoon I went over to visit hubby's grandfather, who's also our accountant, to get the necessary documents for the bank to give us the loan. I stopped by the bank afterwards but our account manager wasn't there so I have to try again tomorrow. I have come to terms with the fact that yet another order has been hijacked by the assholes that work at the post office. I had to write to Amazon and let them know. According to them the replacement should arrive by the end of April. This made me slightly uneasy. There are two many things falling around the same week - the results of the amniocentesis, our next maternity appointment, the deadline for the offers on the flat next door, hubby's vacation and now this. All these things are completely unrelated but I keep thinking 'what if I have a bad week?' It reminds me of that saying about not putting all your eggs in one basket. I know that's not what it's supposed to mean, but it fits anyway. It's just that usually when a day goes badly there are all sorts of bad things happening on the same day. And when a week goes badly, all I can do is take deep breaths and wait for the next one. I don't know why it's like this but in my experience that's how it works - in waves rather than an unconnected sequence of events. So I just hope that one will be a good week. ^ Top

29.03.2005 (tue) Today was very busy again. But it was just normal work, not those stupid things that get me completely stressed and make me want to quit. I also spent almost two hours at the bank, waiting to deliver the papers necessary to start the loan process. It was boring but I felt I had to get it done today. Then I spent the afternoon putting up content for the new site that will finally be up next week. The client called in the afternoon asking me to hurry up but I don't think there will be a problem. All the content is up and so all that's left to fix are some problems with the news templates which I hope won't be too difficult. In the end being busy was probably a good thing because it stopped me from thinking about having to go into the hospital tomorrow. Like this it actually feels as normal and stress free as I've been trying to tell myself it is. The only problem is that I don't think I'll be able to just lie in bed for the rest of the week because the site needs to be finished. But I'll try resting tomorrow and then see how I feel on thursday. And besides, it's not like being in bed or sitting at the computer is such a big difference anyway. All they say is that I shouldn't move around much or lift heavy stuff. ^ Top

30.03.2005 (wed) I did the amniocentesis today. It was fast and fairly painless and much less stressful than I thought it would be. Pedro and my mother went with me and my mom came into the room during the procedure but she just sat in a chair and couldn't even look at the monitor from where she was. Poor hubby was waiting outside feeling pretty stressed, I believe. Still, I don't think he should have been in there. If I was trying not to look at what was going on I can only imagine how he would have felt by seeing what was being done to me. The baby was quite still and so there was no trouble in finding a good spot to puncture. I kept my eyes on the monitor and could see the needle going in. The doctor was telling me not to look because I said I didn't like needles, but what she didn't get is that it was better looking at it on tv than actually looking at myself while it happened. On TV things always look less real and it was actually distracting. In the end I didn't even see how big the needle was, which is good. I did see, however, the amount of fluid they took out and it was a bit more than I expected. I just hope the cells develop well so that I don't have to do this again. It was fine but I'd rather not go through it a second time. After the procedure I had to go to another part of the hospital and get a shot because of my Rh - blood type and then I could leave. I was ready to walk to the car but changed my mind because it started to hurt a bit. Hubby went to get the car and me and my mother waited for him near the hospital entrance. I spent the rest of the day sprawled on the couch watching tv. After two hours I was completely bored. I watched the movie 'The Manchurian Candidate', which was a bit weirder than I thought it would be but it wasn't bad. ^ Top

31.03.2005 (thu) I kept my promise to rest a bit more today and stayed in bed till 11. But then I got up, checked my mail and eventually had to do some work. I stopped at 1PM and went back to bed for an hour and read a bit and tried to relax. In the afternoon I came back to the computer and had a lot of work to do. I tried not to stress and take breaks but I had too much stuff to do to be able to stay in bed all day. I stopped again at 5PM, had something to eat, put the dishes in the dishwasher and came back to finish something and check if there were any developments. I still have about two hours for for a client which will have to wait till tomorrow. I know I shouldn't push it but I promised myself I would stop if I felt strange in any way. Because apart from that I'm just sitting down so that can't be too harmful... But I don't have any symptoms whatsoever and am trying to stay off my feet and not move around too much or too fast, not lift heavy stuff and so on. Now it's 6 PM and I'm going to stop and continue tomorrow. My stomach is hurting again (a daily event that I can't seem to get used to) and I'm feeling a bit tired. ^ Top